Guys, I finally did it. After years of being skeptical, I took the plunge and did a 1-day juice cleanse with a local juice shop, Vive Juicery. I had won a free 1-day juice cleanse months ago from an event I attended, and the week before I had eaten pretty badly, so I decided to go for it. And of course, I’m here to give you my experience honestly and openly–because that’s who I am.

Here’s My 1-Day Juice Cleanse Experience

Everything that I’ve read about juice cleanses, i.e. a whole day of drinking just juice, is that there isn’t any real science to back up claims of detoxing effects. However, there have been plenty of anecdotal evidence that claims that doing juice cleanses made them feel more rejuvenated, energized and that it helped them lose weight.

I went into the juice cleanse with a skeptical yet open mind. My goal for the juice cleanse was to help get rid of my ridiculous sugar cravings and to ‘reset’ in a way. I woke up the morning of with excitement and eagerly guzzled my first juice, the Emerald City, on the way to work. This was around 8:30 a.m. and I was feeling pretty good.

I had been told to enjoy a juice every 2-3 hours, so I promptly opened the next one up around 11 a.m. By this time, I was actually feeling pretty hungry, but not too tired or anything like that.The hero, a juice with chia seeds in it, was delicious and super-fruity and pleasant. Also, it filled me up a fair bit due to all the chia seeds in it. 

By the time I got to drinking the ‘local love’ beet juice, I was starting to feel tired. Reeeally tired. And I noticed that my mouth seemed drier than usual. Cue some quick Googling, and it turns out that our saliva productions decrease because our bodies are trying to conserve saliva as it is hoping we will eat some food! And yes, as a result, your breath gets a little stinky. Umm, I so didn’t sign up for that, meh. 

I was feeling a little funny after the beet juice, primarily because I don’t think I’ve ever drank that much beet juice in my life before, and I really just wanted to go home. And you know what was so, so weird and unexpected? I actually felt bloated from all the juice I was drinking. I had expected to feel light as a feather (I was peeing a ton by the way, TMI yeah, cool) but I felt so bloated and rather disgusting lol.

I drank the next juice, Sensei which is like a lemonade drink with activated charcoal, which gave me a temporary boost of energy. Plus, it was really delicious. It really did taste like a good ol’ sugar lemonade.

I drank the La Vallarta plopped on the coach watching Mrs. Doubtfire with dead eyes. This drink was the hardest one for me to get down. Oh boy. Whereas the Emerald City drink was lovely and mixed with fruit and veg, this was a pure vegetable drink. So, super healthy and all, but hard to drink when all you’re thinking about is food. 

“SUCCESS”, I thought to myself as I eagerly opened the last bottle of juice. I had been excited about this juice all day because it was a nut milk. Ergo way more filling and satisfying than the other juices I had drank earlier. Plus it had dates and vanilla and all sorts of yummy goodness in it.

I shed a small tear as the last drop hit my tongue, but I wiped it away, satisfied that I had finally completed my first real juice cleanse. I lazily watched some more television (I think Mrs. Doubtfire was still on?) and hobbled off to bed not too long after finishing the juice.

THe Morning After: Verdict

Instead of waking up feeling slightly shameful and creeping off with my high heels in tow, I woke up feeling … alright. I felt a lot leaner the next day (duh) and surprisingly, my stomach wasn’t crying out for breakfast as I expected it to. I decided to forgo my usual morning workout because even though I felt pretty energized, I knew I’d be pretty weak because of the lack of protein from my juice cleansing day.

The good news?

My sugar cravings had actually gone away, and I am not entirely sure why. Some claim that it is because of the body getting rid of toxins (don’t get me stdespite the fact that there is no “scientific evidence that a juice cleanse, or any other food for that matter, is particularly relevant to removing toxins.” A more plausible theory is that my cravings disappeared because I was on a restrictive, calorie-reduced, diet. This paper found that food cravings, in the participants they studied, diminished with calorie restriction. Huh, well by golly, who knew.

The bad news?

I was SO tired. All day. Okay, after 11am, which is still a significant portion of my day. Tired, tired, tired. I couldn’t concentrate at all and all I wanted to do when I got home was watch television. I felt super bloated all day and my head felt foggy and hazy as well. Meh. 

Overall, I am glad I did the juice cleanse because now I know how it makes me feel. Not yogi Sally or health guru Gary, but me. And I really value being able to properly assess my thoughts on something after doing research on it and then trying it out for myself. Unless it’s so crazy that it would put me in real danger, of course.

I certainly encourage you all to try a juice cleanse, if you’re curious, and if you makes you feel good, then that’s great and good for you! I am all for people doing what makes them feel better but personally, juice cleanses aren’t for me. It didn’t make me feel that much better and there’s just so much research refuting pretty much any and every claim that juice cleanse companies make. I’ll stick to my juice with a salad next time, thanks.

Hope you enjoyed this, slightly satirical, piece, guys. For those of you who’ve tried a juice cleanse: did your experience mirror mine? 

Honestly yours,
Alice

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